Momma Life in the Making
You see, I’ve been a momma since 1990. Oh that was a golden year for me. Let me tell you why…In 1990, I turned 18, found out I was pregnant, got married, moved into my first apartment while I was still a senior, graduated high school, gave birth to my first baby Joshua and started my first job in corporate health care (it was supposed to be a temporary job. Aren’t they all!). All this happened in one year.
In retrospect, I really had no idea what I was doing. Actually, it wasn’t a golden year at all as it was a very stressful year (other than giving birth to my sweet baby son). My new job turned into a 22 year long career/journey as a working-mommy! Remember, this was supposed to be a temporary job.
I THOUGHT I HAD LIFE ALL FIGURED OUT…
I guess you could say I grew up kind of fast but at that time I thought I knew everything (oh boy, don’t we all at 18 years old!). My friends were off to college while I was changing diapers. Two years later, I had my precious beautiful little girl Brittany. And when she was four and my son was six years, I found myself divorced now raising two babies on my own. I had to quickly embrace my new role as being both mom and dad. I gave up many dreams including going to college at that time. I felt I let my grandparents down (who were among the most influential people in my life). I knew they had high hopes for me. My heart was filled with disappointment. But there was always this will in me to never give up and to provide a good life for my children.
Even though many bad things happened to me during my childhood, I didn’t blame God but I asked a lot of “why” questions. The very person God put on this earth to protect me had actually failed me…abused me. My father. My heart searched for answers but it came back empty over and over again. Thus, my walk with the Lord was up and down for many years during my young adult life. I always knew He was by my side though and showed me lots of grace. He never let go of my hand but it was me who let go often. But I never stopped believing in God.
FAST FORWARD TO MY PARENTING JOURNEY…
I desperately wanted to give my babies a better life than mine. The road was going to be tough yet, all I needed was to follow the Light. Oh, all those lessons I learned as being a single mommy for 15 long memorable years. We had many good days and we had challenging days no doubt. And like we always say, If I knew then what I know now…I would have done things differently. But if I had never went through those deep, deep, valleys, then I would not have been able to experience those deep, deep, conversations with God!
Here are my babies Joshua and Brittany but they are all grown up now.
Joshua and Brittany are approaching their 30s. My blessings and bundle of joy.